Joe Camel - No Match for Bubbie?

There is so much talk these days about the dangers of smoking and second hand smoke that I’m almost afraid to stand near a car that’s emitting exhaust fumes. I sometimes think about the ridiculous reasons I took up smoking as a teenager - perhaps the biggest being idol worship! (Still one of our top ten commandments!) Each week I would sit in a darkened movie theatre watching Bette Davis, Lana Turner, Joan Crawford and other glamorous stars puffing away on a Camel or Chesterfield. I was convinced that the only way I could achieve half their panache (a word I didn’t know back then) was to emulate them. And so, I secretly took up smoking. Even worse, because I didn’t want to smoke alone, I taught some of my friends how to as well. ?

When my parents found out, they hit the ceiling but the one who was even more irate was Bubbie who was the only person in my life who had always accepted me no matter what I did or said. But even she could not accept this behavior saying "you think you look nice with that thing hanging outta’ your mouth? And what’s more, you smell like a chimney that needs cleaning." This coming from my biggest fan really hurt and, after several weeks of icy treatment by her, I quit. (Thanks to my bubbie, today I don’t have to resort to Nicorette chewing gum.) ? Luckily my own seven geniuses have not, to my knowledge, displayed this kind of unacceptable behavior, but, should that ever happen, I"d like to be able to change it with a few well chosen words. I have an uneasy feeling; however that the only ones that might work are "Quit and I"ll take you to Disney World!"

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